You've heard about Alfa Romeo, right?
No?
You know, the car brand that you must acquire if you truly want to become a petrolhead?
No? You sure?
A car brand that's basically a rebadged Fiat with 'Alfa Romeo' written in crayon?
You really don't know, huh?
Well, don't you worry. No-one's really interested in these cars anymore.
And that sure is pitiful.
Why?
Because Alfa Romeo used to be on top of the game.
It was a car company that never set their foot on quantity over quality. They didn't even know what quantity was back then!
So how did one of the most desirable car companies out there suddenly evaporate into oblivion?
Well, there've been many people out there who's been looking into the same problem. And they all returned with similar expressions over what they found.
They say that when Fiat bought Alfa Romeo in 1986 marked the turning point on what made Alfa Romeo so special. It was when their cars where converted from pure magnificence into something atrocious and bland.
Now, that might very well be true.
But I've got something else to say about all this. You see,
I don't see Alfa Romeo starting to go through its eventual slow and painful death in 1986.
No, not at all. That was their road cars loosing their way.
The Alfa Romeo that I knew didn't loose its compass in 1986, but in the year 2007 instead.
The Alfa Romeo that I'm talking about is Alfa Romeo on the race track -- the true Alfa Romeo.Let's begin.
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The 1967 Alfa Romeo 33/2 "Daytona".
In the early sixties, the FIA wanted to broaden the interest in the Sports Car World Championships, from both manufacturers and audiences, by introducing several classes even for smaller cars in the championship. Alfa Romeo had great success in the smaller classes with its Giulia TZ and decided to further develop its investment with a mid-engined sports car prototype.
And in 1967, this is what they came up with: The Alfa Romeo 33/2 "Daytona".
Its history consisted of Alfa Romeo's development department laying the foundations for the new sports car. It was then forwarded to the competition department Autodelta for completion.
The car's chassis consisted of two longitudinal aluminum pipes, connected in the middle by a single transverse pipe, forming a large H.
Autodelta produced a small two-liter V8 engine, which was then replaced with a 2.5-liter engine in 1968.
The Alfa Romeo 33/3 (1969 - 1971).
After 1968, they decided to replace their halo car with something new. Something better. Something that was destined to eat the competition for breakfast.
Introducing the Alfa Romeo 33/3.
With its small engine, the Tipo 33 could not compete with the cars from Ferrari, Ford and Porsche.
Therefore, Autodelta produced a three-liter version in 1969. The new engine received four valves per cylinder and was also used in Formula 1, including McLaren. The odd platform chassis was replaced by a self-supporting aluminum monocoque.
The car took a couple of wins in smaller competitions.
But overall, the 1969 season was not a successful one, and Alfa Romeo was placed seventh in the 1969 International Championship for Makes.
Pity.
The Alfa Romeo 33/TT3 (1971 - 1972).
Nevertheless, new competition, new car. At the end of 1971, a new tube frame chassis of traditional type was introduced.
They called it the Alfa Romeo 33/TT3. The car also competed in CanAm with a four-liter engine.
But it, like its predecessor, wasn't all that successful.
It was back to the drawing board.
Alfa Romeo T33/4 (1972 - 1974).
A 4-litre version was entered to 1972 and 1974 CanAm series by Otto Zipper, and the driver was Scooter Patrick.
The car was deemed unsuccessful and didn't manage to win the championship.
Again.
The Alfa Romeo 33TT12 (1973 - 1976).
Ahh, here comes the 33TT12. Beautiful, isn't it?
This car, however, was meant to blister the competition. Literally.
With its Charlo Chiti-designed 12 cylinder 3.0 L flat engine producing just shy over 500 bhp, it was destined to succeed.
And, in truth, it did.
In 1974 the car won at Monza 1000 km and finished the season with second place in the championship. It wasn't until 1975 that, after years of trying, Alfa Romeo won the 1975 World Championship for Makes.
The season was one of almost total domination with seven wins out of eight races.
Seven victories out of eight races?! I mean, come on! That's just amazing!
The final encore. The Alfa Romeo 33TT12 (1976 - 1977).
But that's not the end of the story, though.
Oh no.
In 1976, Alfa Romeo replaced the already astounding 33TT12 with the 33SC12.
The 3.0 L flat-12 engine now produced 520 bhp (390 kW)!
With this car Alfa Romeo won the 1977 World Championship for Sports Cars.
And its not like the car dominated only the majority of the championship.
The 33SC12s where driven by Arturo Merzario, Jean-Pierre Jarier and Vittorio Brambilla, who all contributed to winning every race in the series.
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
Alfa Romeo would continue to dominate the field for years to come, all through the 80s and 90s.
Alfa Romeo was unstoppable.
Especially from 1993 to 1996, when they returned to touring cars in the DTM series and introduced the Alfa Romeo 156 V6 Ti DTM. Then, it felt as if Alfa Romeo wasn't competing, but sending out its car round the racetrack all by themselves!
The Alfa Romeo 156 V6 Ti DTM. The sound this thing makes it surreal!
But then, in 2007, they stopped motorracing.
And that was that.
Several decades of non-stop successful racing. Gone.
After this, with the inclusion of their road cars having slowly being getting worse and worse, Alfa Romeo stopped appealing to people.
And that's sad.
Because Alfa Romeo is more then an car brand -- more so than a rebadged Fiat.
It's the mother of all halo cars on the track, showcasing how to properly build a racer that goes like the clappers while also having the looks of Kiera Knightley.
It's the mother of Ferrari, for crying out loud!
It's supposed to symbolize engineering nevada, and not cheap plastic boxes that only demented people would buy!
The Mito. Hideous, isn't it?
Thank you Fiat.
Thank you for letting everybody know that you truly care for Alfa Romeo.
Thank you for appreciating its pedigree and racing history.
Thank you for converting their otherwise real-wheel drive cars into front-wheel drive ones.
Thank you for replacing the leather with black plastic trim that's directly imported from Russia.
Thank you for choosing quantity over quality for Alfa and their success.
Thank you for everything.
... Motherf*cker!
WRITTEN BY: CHRISTIAN NARVSELIUS, 2 February 2020
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